Mindfulness – A Qualified Perspective

Mindfulness has been hijacked. Instagram quotes, wellness influencers, and a whole lot of uneducated talk have turned it into something it isn’t – like all you need to do is be present and suddenly life feels easier. But real mindfulness isn’t about feeling calm. It’s about seeing clearly. Because when the shit hits the fan, clarity matters more than comfort.

You Are the Sky, Not the Storm

Your mind is the sky. Thoughts, emotions, and experiences? They’re just clouds – some light, some dark, some rolling in fast and heavy. But no matter what they do, the sky remains. It holds everything without being defined by it.

Most people get caught in the clouds. When things go wrong, they become their thoughts. “I’m a failure.” “I can’t handle this.” “I’m broken.” These thoughts feel absolute, like they are you. They’re not.

Clouds Aren’t the Full Picture

This isn’t to say that the facts you know or the stories you’ve been telling yourself about your life aren’t based in reality – some of them might hold elements of truth. But those stories aren’t all of you. They’re snapshots, not the full picture.

Self As Context (Observing Self)

This is where Self as Context (some people call this The Observing Self or The Noticing Mind) comes in. Sounds bloody technical? That’s because it comes straight out of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – a psychological approach that helps people step back from their thoughts instead of getting tangled in them. It builds psychological flexibility, making it easier to navigate life without getting stuck in mental loops.

But it’s not as complicated as the name makes it sound – psychology has a habit of using strange terms for simple ideas. In a nutshell, context just means the background or space where something happens.

Your life has a context – the space where your thoughts, feelings, and experiences unfold. Self as Context means that you are that space – not the thoughts, not the emotions, but the one who notices them. You are not the cloud. You are the sky.

The 3 Levels of Awareness

Imagine you’re feeling overwhelmed:

• First level: “I’m overwhelmed; this is too much.”

• Second level: “I notice I’m feeling overwhelmed.”

• Self as Context (Observing Self): “There’s a calm part of me noticing that I’m overwhelmed.”

Why This Matters

Recognising this means:

• You are more than your thoughts
• You are more than your emotions.
• You can experience something without being controlled by it.

This shift puts distance between you and the mental noise. Instead of being stuck inside every thought your brain spits out, you can step back and observe it.

When Your Mind Is Messing With You

When your brain throws up something like “I’m not good enough”, try this:

1. Catch it. “Oh, there’s that thought again.”
2. Step back. Instead of “I am worthless”, say “I’m having the thought that I am worthless.”
3. Hold space. No fighting, no engaging. Just noticing – like watching a cloud drift by.

That’s mindfulness. Not forcing your thoughts to be positive, not shutting them down – just seeing them clearly. And once you do that, you get to decide how to respond. The storm always passes. The sky remains. And you are the sky.

A Straightforward Mindfulness Exercise

If you’ve never tried mindfulness – or if the idea of sitting still and clearing your mind sounds ridiculous – start here. Simple. Just a few breaths.

1. Sit down. Comfortable, but not slouched. Feel your feet on the ground.
2. Breathe in, slow. Notice the air moving in through your nose. Breathe in and know you’re breathing in.
3. Breathe out, slow. Feel your chest drop. Breathe out and know you’re breathing out.
4. Notice what your mind is doing. Maybe it’s calm, maybe it’s running wild. That’s fine. Just notice it and SIMPLY START AGAIN.
5. Bring your focus back to your breath. Feel the inhale. Feel the exhale.

Repeat for 60 seconds. That’s it. Nothing fancy. If your mind drifts (and it will), just gently bring it back to the breath. SIMPLY START AGAIN.

This isn’t about “winning” at mindfulness. It’s about practicing the skill of noticing and returning – training your brain to step back instead of getting lost in the noise.

Do this when stress spikes. Do it when overthinking kicks in. Do it before a tough conversation. Do it anywhere, anytime. The goal isn’t to erase thoughts – it’s to build the skill of not being consumed by them.

The storm always passes. The sky remains. And you are the sky.